


The Heart Wants

by malsseong



Series: After the Mountain [2]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-07
Updated: 2015-03-07
Packaged: 2018-03-16 18:07:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 864
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3497852
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/malsseong/pseuds/malsseong
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“You’re no good to your people if you’re weak from hunger, Clarke,” she says, not looking up from her task.</p><p>Clarke’s stomach growls loudly, and she crosses her arms over her chest, but she can tell by the quirk of the brunette’s lips that the Commander heard the undignified sound.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Heart Wants

Clarke’s not sure when the guards left. Didn’t notice Lexa making any motion to dismiss them.  
But Lexa’s always been subtle in her movements. Clarke’s enjoyed searching for them; studying the Commander for the tiniest twitch of the lips, or quirk of the eyebrows, or flick of the fingers.

But when the tent flap lifts to allow a single Grounder to enter, carrying a tray of food, Clarke is surprised to notice that they’re alone, save for the girl who sets the tray down on the table and disappears as quickly as she arrived.

Lexa notices Clarke’s distraction, and releases the edge of the map they’ve been poring over since the sun set, allowing it to roll back up.

She grabs the tray, and brings it closer, setting it down on the table between them. She uses her foot to hook around the leg of a chair, dragging it to the edge of the table and sitting down. She motions to the other chair, indicating for Clarke to sit down beside her.

When Clarke remains standing, Lexa sighs and begins dividing the food on the tray onto two plates.

“You’re no good to your people if you’re weak from hunger, Clarke,” she says, not looking up from her task.

Clarke’s stomach growls loudly, and she crosses her arms over her chest, but she can tell by the quirk of the brunette’s lips that the Commander heard the undignified sound. She’s feeling as though she’s ended up at a major disadvantage in this conversation, and she’s searching for a way to level the playing field. “Unfortunately,” she says as she decides upon a tactic, “I don’t have guards here to test my food for me. Who knows what you’ve put in that.”

Lexa sighs, and slowly lowers the plate she’s holding back down onto the table. She raises her eyes to meet Clarke’s — Clarke’s been trying to make eye contact for most of the afternoon, hoping it will allow her to read the Commander more easily, but Lexa’s been dodging her glances like they’re arrows. But what she sees in those green eyes gives her pause; it’s an emotion she can’t put a name to, but it makes her stomach churn a little in sadness.  
The eye contact is broken before the blonde really has time to analyse it. The two sigh in unison, and the corners of Clarke’s mouth twitch up in amusement.

Lexa pulls her knife out of the sheath at her thigh, and Clarke takes a small step back at the unexpected action. But before she has time to question it, Lexa is using the blade to stab a morsel of food on Clarke’s plate, darting the knife around until it’s picked up a small piece of each item.  
Then Clarke watches in rapt silence as the tip of the knife disappears between Lexa’s lips, and reappears a moment later, cleaned of all traces of food.

Lexa makes eye contact again, and gestures to the food. But Clarke suddenly doesn’t care about the food, or the way her stomach is feeling tight from hunger.  
Because she’s felt those lips; knows how deceptively soft they are; how surprisingly gently they can move against her own.  
And yes, she’s not over Finn — how could she be? But she’s just realised — so suddenly that it made her stomach drop — that maybe she rebuffed Lexa’s advances, not because she genuinely wasn’t ready, but because she was so afraid of losing someone else that she loved.  
And there’s the problem, she suddenly knows. Lexa is someone she could so easily come to love. And it terrifies her.  
It makes her head spin, and her heart slam against her ribs, and her fingers twitch to reach out and touch the other woman.  
But it also makes her mind race. Because what happens the next time Lexa is asked to put her people before her weakness? What happens if Clarke falls hard and fast, and Lexa won’t allow herself to succumb to her weakness?

Lexa is still staring at her, confused by this extended period of silence.

So Clarke clears her throat, and pulls the chair closer to the table. In a moment of weakness, she sits down in such a way that her thigh brushes against the Commander’s.

One of Lexa’s hands sits lifelessly on the table between them as she uses the other to eat. Clarke’s own hand itches to take it, to know if Lexa’s walls are down enough to allow the extended contact of holding hands.

Since landing on earth, Clarke has been forced to learn that she’s far stronger than she ever thought she could be. But she knows she’s not strong enough to feel the Commander’s hand in her own — alone in a tent — and not also allow herself the pleasure of rediscovering the other woman’s lips.  
So she eats in silence, listening to the sound of the Grounder camp outside, thigh gently pressed against the brunette’s.  
And if Lexa notices the way her eyes repeatedly return to the hand resting on the table… Well, Clarke’s never been particularly great at hiding her emotions, but Lexa excels at pretending she doesn’t notice them.


End file.
